Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
either way he was missing a nipple.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
