having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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