I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
