he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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