Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
