I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
