Say something about gay babies.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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