Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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