I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
