Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
soo... how was my night?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
