So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
