Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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