It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
