I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
