I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
