i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
