Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
