I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
