Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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