I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
