I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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