Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
