my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
