Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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