The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
