I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
