I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
