remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
