I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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