He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
