IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
please don't ironically join a cult
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