you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well I just put wine in my tea
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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