you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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