So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
