she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
