Dual....:-)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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