I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
