Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im holly from the hills drunk
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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