two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
