We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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