apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
