You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
