I wish I could punch you in the face.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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