I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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