i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
