did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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