i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
