You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
