Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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