Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
