I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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