WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The best revenge is premature balding
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
