yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
