return my video game
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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