I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize
