I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She's the barista slut.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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