If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
