Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
