why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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