But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
